01 November 2011

Tweet Free

Today marks the start of my 30-day hiatus from the social networking sites Facebook and Twitter.

Someone told me I must be really hooked on these social networking sites, especially Twitter, and I could not probably live without them. So I am challenging myself and staying away from Twitter and Facebook for 30 days. No tweets, no status updates, no uploading of photos. I won't even peek to check my friends' tweets and posts.

Surprisingly, I find myself looking forward to the 30 days of being Twitter and FB-free. You can imagine the pain these two sites have given me in the past few months, so I am embracing this self-imposed hiatus. Never mind that I would probably be the last to know about the latest happenings with my friends and co-workers. Then again, it may also save me from seeing all those posts that could be really painful. ^_^

So let's bring it on!

And by the way, no, I'm not staying away from blogger. :)
 

13 October 2011

Dork Alert

I am such a dork!

I so wanted to stay and talk, but the old socially inept me won over the new-trying-to-be-intrepid-seize-the-moment Asfer. But that fleeting albeit embarrassing  moment completed my day though.

I can't stop smiling. Heeeeee. ♥
 

10 August 2011

My Umbrella

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words won't hurt me.

So not true.

Words are very powerful, really. The damage they can do to a person.

===

Despite the negativity today, I still have one thing to be grateful for. Thank you for putting some sense into my head and for the those few precious laughs. Although things are not the way I want them to be, somehow, by being there, you were able to lift the heavy heart.

Thank you .♥
 

28 July 2011

Heartburn

The heart's at it again.

I've been experiencing chest constrictions lately. I'm not even sure if it is something psychological. Some friends say it could be heartburn. Another says my heart is just filled with too much emotion it could burst. I say I'm just consuming too much caffeine from those bottles/cans of Coke and cups of coffee.

And oh, did I mention those butterflies in my tummy are partying again.

20 July 2011

Lessons


Learned some very valuable lessons on friendship (and on relationships in general), today.

When you're heart is filled with love, there'd be no more room for pride. That hateful pride.

You know how we all go through those tampuhan blues with our friends. Whenever I feel slighted or hurt by someone dear to me, instead of letting the person know, I would resort to the cold shoulder treatment: that i'm-not-talking-to-you-figure-out-what-you've-done-and-better-make-it-up-to-me attitude. This infantile behavior, trust me, did not get things work out the way I wanted them to. No matter how petty the reason of the rift may be, when pride gets in the way, it could lead to something really damaging to a relationship. I have realized, it won't hurt at all to eat that humble pie and reach out first. At the end of the day, it would not even matter who made the first move to patch things up. You'd be too happy and relieved to even care.

Communication is very important.

It's really not too hard to talk to friends once you got pride out of the way. Open communication is vital to any relationship, I learned that lesson the hard way. Trust me, it's not a great feeling when you are not talking to your friends or loved ones. When you want to say something, talk to the person and not to others. Issues won't go away on their own and it would only complicate things if parties not concerned are brought into the picture.

Friendship means loyalty.

When your universe is crumbling down, and when entire the world seems to be against you, a loyal friend will make a big difference. Knowing someone is there who believes in you despite what everyone else is saying, staunchly defends you to their harsh judgment, that's what loyalty is all about. Simply being there for a friend in dire straits. Most important, even at times when you knew that the person is at the wrong side of the track, you are still there saying "hey I got your back". No, it does not mean tolerating the wrongdoings, but rather showing your friendship in the truest sense of the word.

Oh I knew these lessons by theory, I just did not notice that I was not applying them in real life. But hey, I'm a fast learner, but still a work in progress.

This piece, I dedicate to my bestest friends in the world. Thank you for the years of loyalty, steadfast love, forgiveness and acceptance. And to you two, thank you for these lessons. I learned them the hard way, but I think I'm going be an even more awesome friend from now on! :)


12 April 2011

Torrential Tears

I have always known that I am a bit of a crybaby. Well, maybe more than a little bit. The littlest things could send me in a sobbing frenzy - a sentimental TV ad, a romantic movie scene, a line from a book, a song, a heartfelt compliment. The list could go on. I am that pathetic. Even when upset, if I can't pour out my emotions, I cry.

I have been suppressing my emotions lately. Not sharing what's really running through my head and especially what's in my heart for fear of, well because of fear. Period. Probably, I am so used to keeping things that really matter inside that I find it so hard sharing them with other people. Or maybe, it's just so hard for me to trust. There are only a very few friends I can really open my heart to without the fear of being judged.

Yesterday, the dam broke. Nothing really dramatic, but once it started, it was difficult to stop. If someone asked me why, what happened, my answer would have been I don't know. I still don't have the answer. I still don't understand what I am going through. This confusion and the fear of not knowing what to do, most likely, are the culprits.

One of these days though, I'll finally have the answer. Once I get the courage to admit and face the truth. Only then will I understand.

:)

11 April 2011

Heavy Heart

I know they just wanted to have fun, and I know they did not mean any harm. But friends can sometimes be so pakialamera that they dont know they're already putting you in an embarrassing and compromising situation.

Rants.

My heart feels so heavy today, I want to cry my heart out. Must be all the stress and confusion I've been experiencing lately. Plus PMS.

I know I'm not making any sense and I don't care.

:((

10 April 2011

The One That Got Away

For the love that was almost there..




In another life, I would make you stay..
So I don't have to say that you're the one that got away.


08 March 2011

Before Sunrise, Before Sunset


There's just something about the sun rising and sun setting that I find so captivating.


Sunrise at Mactan Bridge, Lapu-Lapu City, Cebu



Sunset in Basdaku, Moalboal, Cebu



28 February 2011

I do not love you..

Sonnet XVII
Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.





11 February 2011

Silver Lining




"Behind every storm cloud is a silver lining."

This old adage has been my mantra in the last few days. My life, in every aspect, is in such a turmoil. Maybe I'm at the peak of what they call quarter-life crisis. Whatever this is I am going through, I am in dire need of every encouragement I could get. Seeing this beautiful spectacle one afternoon feels like I just got the best cheer, and from the Master above nonetheless. Now, I feel I can go on and move forward no matter what's thrown at me - because I know, something wonderful is just waiting to happen. I am that positive. Thank You Papa God. :)

09 February 2011

Devastated.

There I was, smiling like a silly little girl because we're talking. Then suddenly, you said those words. And I don't know why I felt so horrible. Yet there I was, still all smiles, when deep inside, my heart was crying.

Now, I know how Mercedes felt when she was belting Bust Your Windows.

Aray.