I have always known that I am a bit of a crybaby. Well, maybe more than a little bit. The littlest things could send me in a sobbing frenzy - a sentimental TV ad, a romantic movie scene, a line from a book, a song, a heartfelt compliment. The list could go on. I am that pathetic. Even when upset, if I can't pour out my emotions, I cry.
I have been suppressing my emotions lately. Not sharing what's really running through my head and especially what's in my heart for fear of, well because of fear. Period. Probably, I am so used to keeping things that really matter inside that I find it so hard sharing them with other people. Or maybe, it's just so hard for me to trust. There are only a very few friends I can really open my heart to without the fear of being judged.
Yesterday, the dam broke. Nothing really dramatic, but once it started, it was difficult to stop. If someone asked me why, what happened, my answer would have been I don't know. I still don't have the answer. I still don't understand what I am going through. This confusion and the fear of not knowing what to do, most likely, are the culprits.
One of these days though, I'll finally have the answer. Once I get the courage to admit and face the truth. Only then will I understand.
:)
I have been suppressing my emotions lately. Not sharing what's really running through my head and especially what's in my heart for fear of, well because of fear. Period. Probably, I am so used to keeping things that really matter inside that I find it so hard sharing them with other people. Or maybe, it's just so hard for me to trust. There are only a very few friends I can really open my heart to without the fear of being judged.
Yesterday, the dam broke. Nothing really dramatic, but once it started, it was difficult to stop. If someone asked me why, what happened, my answer would have been I don't know. I still don't have the answer. I still don't understand what I am going through. This confusion and the fear of not knowing what to do, most likely, are the culprits.
One of these days though, I'll finally have the answer. Once I get the courage to admit and face the truth. Only then will I understand.
:)
